Roberts Liardon wants us to know that each of us must go through our own experiences in life. But we are not helpless! Jesus Christ has given us a gift the resurrection power of the Holy Spirit living inside of us. And that’s not all. The power of His Spirit within will guide us into truth and victory!
You must also understand that a controlling person thinks and talks about the other individual all the time. If anything keeps the other person from spending time with the controller, the controller will attack that thing and attempt to get rid of it as quickly as possible. He will go to any length or any expense to make sure the person he is controlling spends the majority of his or her time with him. This is domination!
Roberts Liardon tells us that the controlling person will dominate the other individual’s vacations, dates, marriage, job, home buying, church going, or even personal ﬁnances. An abusive controller will dominate every area of another’s life if allowed to do so. If the other person is not careful, he or she can become so entwined with a controller that, in extreme cases, it will take years to get free of that relationship.
You have a tendency to be an abusive controller if you react in an unnatural way to statements made about the person you are controlling.
For example, if someone makes a positive statement about the person you control, you will automatically criticize the controlled person to make sure that no friendship develops between them. On the other hand, if someone makes a negative statement about you, the controller, you will immediately defend yourself with a positive statement to make yourself look good.
You have a tendency to be an abusive controller if you attempt to overprotect even to the point of hindering God’s Spirit.
For example, sometimes elders or deacons can be so protective of the church that they won’t allow the pastor to ﬂow under the anointing of the Lord; they won’t help him do what God has told him to do.
Individually, an abusive controller can be so protective of another person that he will not allow that individual to venture out and experience God for himself or herself. The abusive controller is afraid that the person being controlled will make a mistake. Therefore, fear motivates at the core of every decision. Because fear is the motive in overprotection, positive growth, whether individual or corporate, is hindered. “security” in life. They nag, cry, interfere, and generally do everything they can to get Rick to change his mind, leave school, return to his hometown, and enroll at the local state university. They also want him to live at home, of course, so they can continue to supervise him.